The New Rules Of StockTwits: 2014 Version

Way back in 1975, I remember a conversation I had with Howard Lindzon and Phil Pearlman, or H-Lindz and Psquared, as I affectionately called them at the time.  We were all sitting around, stroking our long, long locks of shiny, full hair, discussing the merits of various conditioners, when Howard first suggested the idea of ABBATwits, a community dedicated to the Scandinavian pop Gods who were tearing up the charts.

“H-Lindz,” I said.  “Pop music is too fickle.  You need to create something with lasting value.  Something that will stand the test of time.”  And that was the genesis of StockTwits.

Fast forward to (almost) 2014.  Now I may not be one of the Big Dogs like Greg Harmon (38,211 followers), Brian Shannon (with 38,039 followers), or some unnamed dick from the panhandle state with 38,026 followers, but I think I have been around long enough to throw some new rules out for 2014. So here they are.

Avatar Protocol

Look, I have covered this issue ad nauseam, most specifically in my post The 5 Worst Avatars For A Trader To Have, but for those of you who haven’t read that Keats-like post, here is the gist of it…

Load up a goddamn picture!  The generic StockTwits logo is not cool.  Nor is it dope, fly, jake, or the bees knees.  We all want to engage with you, but staying anonymous is not mysterious or deep; it’s just annoying.  Show us something about who you are as a person, or in social media terms, as a “brand.” Fill out your bio too.  Skip the “serial entrepreneur,” “market crusher,” and “student of the market” crap while you are at it.  Just be honest, tell us a bit about yourself and you will be welcomed into the fold like one of the hot Kardashians.

Cool The Angry Young Man Stance

Sometimes I marvel at the vitriol that goes back and forth between members on such globally important issues as “Is $AAPL a buy or a sell?”  You would think that they were arguing about whose diabetic child should get the last vial of insulin in a post-apocalyptic, zombie infested world.  Just chill.  Or better yet, cold-chill.  These are just stocks folks.  It’s okay to have an opinion, but not cool to treat someone with an opinion different from yours like they are Hitler.  Or Stalin.  Or Bieber.  Let’s all just try to get along shall we?

Chicken Littles

News Flash.  The S&P is not going to zero.  Gold is not your savior.  Roubini, Faber, Zero Hedge, and company are wrong.  Why don’t we say it Electric Company style….


Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that tomorrow space aliens come down to Earth and blast the NYSE and all world stock exchanges with their super-blaster rays, and the markets crash. After all the smoke clears, our new extraterrestrial masters will review the recent timeline and determine that the perma-bears and their ilk missed out on one of the fattest moves in market history.

So, barring any Independence Day shit happening, just give the “sky is falling” jag a rest.

Perpetual Crushers

You are crushing the markets.  You are in before every move.  You bought the bottom, shorted the top, and re-bought the bottom.

No you didn’t.  You didn’t even come close.  The Lord-God-Shiva Paul Tudor Jones himself only claims to catch 50 or 60 percent of a move at best, so cut the crap.

Let’s make a deal? Post every time you get stopped out for a loss along with every time you get a “four bagger.”  If that ratio is at least 5:1 then we will believe you.

I want something, and then something else, and them something else, for nothing

Hey, I was just thinking about something.   How much did it cost you to join StockTwits?  What?  How much? Oh, nothing… mean nada, zip, zilch, bubkis, the big donught?

So why the fuck do you think you are entitled to berate, challenge, quiz, query, berate again, and castigate people who are giving their time, knowledge, and expertise for free?

Play nice, and you will find that StockTwits and it’s members are the most valuable asset you will ever find regarding the markets.  But be a dick in tone or temperament, and you will quickly get shut down.

So, there you have it.  My rules for 2014.  Do they seem bitter?  Or course they do, and of course I have issues, but they are hard-won issues from years in the trenches.  I, and most of the recommended people on StockTwits will be more than happy to help you out in any way we can in the coming year. Just be cool and remember that behind the avatars are real people, who if treated with respect, will return that respect to you in spades.

Brilliant stuff like this rains down like..well, rain, on my stream during the week.  If you want to get wet, follow me on Twitter and StockTwits.  You can also pick up my book Trading – The Best of the Best: Top Trading Tips For Our Times by clicking here.  All proceeds go to fight pediatric brain cancer.

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