5 Ways You Will Know The Top Is Finally In On Apple.

1. Congress gets rid of those pesky pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, and half-dollars and replaces them with the Ipod nano, the Ipod, the ITouch, the Ipad mini, and the Ipad.

2. The Pope begins the Canonization process for “Saint Stephan Jobian.”

3. Jim Cramer changes his signature phrase from  “BOOYAH….!!!” to “APPLESAUCE…!!!”

4. Public schools are required to teach a new type of science class based on the “reality distortion field” theory.

5.  StockTwits changes its name to “AppleTwits.”

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  • Cousin_Vinny

    Always a pleasure reading your diatribes. Thoroughly entertaining mix of stock smarts and intellectual banter. Keep up the good work.


  • I love applesauce….stealing that one.

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About Brian Lund

About Brian Lund

Great father. Good friend. Decent writer. Lacking husband. Solid drummer. Sometimes funny. Often A-hole. Terrible poker player. Too smart. Punk rock. Work in an ice cream shop.

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