[Today's guest post was sent in by Rich Wayne. Thanks for letting me post it Rich.]
Fan of your blog and thought you would appreciate this. The other day my wife asked for an update on how the trading has been so far this year. Told her its been great and should be a stellar year. Then she wanted details:
What did you buy? Lots of stuff like Apple, Facebook, Groupon, Lululemon, etc
So we own all of those now? No, but probably will again.
Thought you said Groupon sucks? It does that’s why I bought puts.
You put it where? I bought puts because the lock up was expiring and I figured there would be a price drop.
Why did you buy it if you think it sucks? I bought it because I think it sucks.
Isn’t this the stuff you did last time that lost us all that money? No. Learned my lessons on that.
But you bought something you don’t like….
At this point I switched to ‘Yes, baby’ mode and did my best to change the subject. But what I wanted to do was channel Col. Nathan R. Jessep. Here is what I should have said:
You can’t handle the truth! Woman, we live in a world that has markets. And these markets have to be traded by men with balls. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Bernie Madoff?
I have a greater skill than you can possibly fathom. You weep for ‘buy and hold’ and you curse the algos. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that buy and hold’s death, while tragic, probably saved E-Trade. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to value investors, makes money.
You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me in the market. You need me in the market.
We use words like put, call, short…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent making money. You use ‘em as an adjective. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a woman who shops with and spends the very money I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it!
I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you open an account and short Facebook. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think it is I do!
Thanks for letting me vent.